Trajectory Before
Before I made the decision to leave Boy Scouts I felt that I was juggling multiple options, all of which would help if I succeeded in completing them all but which could also throw me completely off if I failed at all of them suddenly or even gradually. When I still had achieving Eagle Scout in my sights I knew that it would serve as a leveraging tool I could use to get into the colleges and careers that I hope to still earn my way into. However, much like a cowboy attempting to change his ride mid-chase, burning out on all fronts would leave me in the dust without anything to propel me forward.
I knew that Eagle Scout would act as an immediate scholarship if I earned it and would lend me the credibility associated with the rank but a number of issues began to move me in a direction where I felt that I might not earn the rank in the end, despite my many years with the Boy Scouts of America and my troop. I was overextended and constantly exhausted with juggling the two would have had to rely on other resources more so than grades or scholarships if earning the rank hurt my grades in the long run because of the time allocated towards achieving that goal. Earning Eagle would have made my path more assured and confident in the end, if I did in face earn it in the end.
I knew that Eagle Scout would act as an immediate scholarship if I earned it and would lend me the credibility associated with the rank but a number of issues began to move me in a direction where I felt that I might not earn the rank in the end, despite my many years with the Boy Scouts of America and my troop. I was overextended and constantly exhausted with juggling the two would have had to rely on other resources more so than grades or scholarships if earning the rank hurt my grades in the long run because of the time allocated towards achieving that goal. Earning Eagle would have made my path more assured and confident in the end, if I did in face earn it in the end.
Leaving the Boy Scouts of America [BSA] (February, 2015)
Logo of the Boy Scouts of America (BSA)
Leaving the Boy Scouts of America was probably the largest, personal decision I made this school year. Up to February of 2015 I had been working step-by-step and intermittently on achieving the rank of Eagle Scout, a process I had begun roughly 10 years ago. It was a long-term commitment that I had made and intended to complete until I began to question the legitimacy of my achievement should I achieve the rank in the end. This was due in large part to the fact that I felt that the troop I was part of had coddled up to the point of actually earning the Eagle Scout rank where they expected me to be fully prepared to take up leadership positions based on my prior experience. Their approach led me to feel that even if I achieved the rank of Eagle, that my journey would have been effectively half-truths and the “experience” I claimed to have under my belt when earning the rank would be negligible. I wasn’t worried with my ability to earn it but rather with the legitimacy of my journey. The way the troop was structured and my own inactivity for many months were both factors in a myriad of decisions and events which led to me abandoning the project.
While the decision to leave was difficult I noticed a visible difference in my mood, ability to cope with school-related stress and other things. It left me healthier than when I was worrying about two colossal challenges at once and I was able to raise my all-around grades when I wasn’t dividing my attention between two looming challenges. I had been told repeatedly before that I would regret the decision and perhaps I might in the future sometime, but I made the decision with the full knowledge that some doors would close to me because of it. As I move into Senior year I’ll be working to hone in my focus on the important tasks at hand and not over-reaching myself over a web of decisions but taking bites of only as much as I can chew at once.
While the decision to leave was difficult I noticed a visible difference in my mood, ability to cope with school-related stress and other things. It left me healthier than when I was worrying about two colossal challenges at once and I was able to raise my all-around grades when I wasn’t dividing my attention between two looming challenges. I had been told repeatedly before that I would regret the decision and perhaps I might in the future sometime, but I made the decision with the full knowledge that some doors would close to me because of it. As I move into Senior year I’ll be working to hone in my focus on the important tasks at hand and not over-reaching myself over a web of decisions but taking bites of only as much as I can chew at once.
Trajectory After
Changing my focus away from Boy Scouts and earning Eagle Scout towards earning better grades and applying for scholarships has helped me to think about the alternatives that I might not have otherwise considered because I would be preoccupied with Scouts. I admit, doors have probably closed on me as a result of my decision but I am, for the most part, fine with that fact. My decision has taught me the value of giving up one thing so I have the possibility of doing others further down along the road, even if that means that some options are barred in the present.
I’ve hobbled along, at least in part, for the last few weeks of this year but have also been able to hone my focus in on my studies as a result of a narrower “window” before me. I feel that I better understand what not to do because I’ve done some of those things this semester, but as I move into my senior year I only hope that whatever lessons I’ve learned from my failures this year will help guide me better in the year to come. All that to say, my goal of entering the engineering field as a mechanical engineer hasn’t changed through everything so far, only my approach to getting there. My momentum towards certain goals may have changed but my end goal remains the same despite my decision.
I’ve hobbled along, at least in part, for the last few weeks of this year but have also been able to hone my focus in on my studies as a result of a narrower “window” before me. I feel that I better understand what not to do because I’ve done some of those things this semester, but as I move into my senior year I only hope that whatever lessons I’ve learned from my failures this year will help guide me better in the year to come. All that to say, my goal of entering the engineering field as a mechanical engineer hasn’t changed through everything so far, only my approach to getting there. My momentum towards certain goals may have changed but my end goal remains the same despite my decision.